How to build a positive relationship with your partner is a lot of work, but not impossible. Do I have a healthy relationship definition? No,
because building a positive relationship with your partner takes time, effort and it differs depending on the couple. So what makes you a great couple? I honestly don’t know. What may have worked with a previous partner, may not work with your current partner, so in a way, there is no magic recipe that will guarantee a picture-perfect relationship. What I do know, is that a lasting relationship needs attention and constant nurturing.
Read below my 4 healthy relationship tips for building and continuing to have a loving relationship with your partner.
Maintain The Relationship
Maintenance. Think of your relationship as a house. You have been on a long search to find your dream home. You finally find it, and when you first move in, you are super excited. You get to discover all the new areas of your home, buy new furniture; all the fun things you get to do in a new home. With time though, you get used to the space and suddenly the excitement is gone. You still love your home but don’t feel the urge to fix things right away. Eventually, if you don’t start attending to the needs of your relationship, just like your home, your relationship will fall apart. So to keep a relationship going regardless of how long you have been with your partner, nurture your relationship and make time for your partner, so your “home” doesn’t lose its value. Building a positive relationship doesn’t happen overnight and continuous maintenance is one of the things you can do to work on your relationship.
If you are still asking how to build a healthy relationship without arguing with your partner that is ok. No matter how well you and your partner communicate, it is impossible to agree on everything, and I repeat, it is ok! Kamiran and I argue about the silliest things, and it took us forever to fight fairly, to be able to step back and acknowledge both perspectives in the argument. Sometimes, we still struggle to do so. Fighting fairly is not easy, but that is how you keep a relationship going. To build a positive relationship with your partner, you have to stop yourself and think before you criticize one another while you’re fighting. In the heat of the moment, don’t say things you are going to regret later. Even if you are angry try to view things in perspective. Keep your focus on the issue at hand and don’t bring into the conversation skeletons from the past. Keep in mind that in order to build a positive relationship you should also apologize when you make a mistake to avoid resentment. (I also still struggle with this).
We experience things differently. What makes you very upset, may have no effect on your partner and vice versa. If you want to build a positive relationship with your partner, you have to respect the way the other person experiences things. Be respectful of the different qualities that make a relationship strong. For example, Kamiran and I were watching the movie Coco (Amazing movie by the way!) and it really got to me. It was so dramatic, I had a total meltdown. Kamiran could have dismissed my emotions by saying “Get over it” or “What’s wrong with you, it’s just a movie”, but instead he was supportive. Even though he reacted differently to the movie than I did, he respected the way I felt. He didn’t belittle my feelings but instead acknowledged them. Even though this is such a small incident, if Kamiran had reacted differently it would have made me even more upset. So be respectful of your partner, and respect the way they are feeling. Maintaining a positive relationship with your partner always requires you to be respectful and aware.
Break a Bad Habit
What makes a relationship grow is to break a bad habit. Get rid of those toxic habits that make your relationship unhealthy. Annoying habits can lead to bitterness, resentment, and frustration in a relationship. If your partner has a habit of doing something that bothers you, DO NOT brush it off and ignore it. Speak up and let your partner know what they are doing is bothering you. The quicker you bring things up, the faster you will resolve issues. Don’t expect your partner to break a bad habit, if you do not even bring it up. But keep in mind to not let your expectations of how your partner s should behave get in the way of your relationship.
So those are all my long-term relationship advice tips. Relationships are hard. Building a positive relationship is even harder and work in progress. It doesn’t happen overnight and you certainly cannot stop working on it. Keep your relationship positive by nurturing it, and caring for it. Hope this was helpful and that you will start to look at your relationship through a different lens to stay focused on the positive.